Dispatch #037 Borrowed Convictions

How to Stand When the Crowd Wants You Silent
By Darrell Eugene Harlow-Curtis

I have stood in rooms with commanders and attorneys. Men who carry weight in the world. When the pressure rises, they ask me to pray. Not because they believe—but because it feels right to have someone else carry it.

They want the prayer, not the Presence.
They want the appearance of reverence, not surrender.

If they really believed—if they feared God the way they respect rank—
they would not ask for a blessing like it was routine.
They would fall on their face.

But here is the truth most avoid.

It is hard to stand when everyone else stays seated.
It is hard to speak when the room expects silence.
It is hard to walk in truth when the system treats faith like superstition and chaplains like decoration.

If you think other chaplains and spiritual leaders will always stand beside you,
you have not worn the uniform that long.

You will be isolated.
You will be rebuked behind closed doors.
And in a Corps this small, that can cost you.

And it has.

I am not bitter.
But I am not clean either.

I have stood in the midst of difficult issues, silent.
Afraid of standing out in the crowd.
Afraid of becoming the problem instead of the help.

I have stayed quiet when I should have spoken.
Not out of disbelief in God, but fear of what speaking might cost me.

I have carried the silence of God in rooms where I was too afraid to own it out loud.

I am not ashamed of my identity in Christ.  That is obviously too clear (though I do have to remind myself from time to time in adversity), but sometimes I am silent because I too doubt.

It is easy to stand for a cause in a crowd.
It is another thing to stand against the flow of traffic
and declare your undying faith in the middle of adversity.

Here is what I know.

You do not stand because you feel strong.
You stand because the Sovereigns are real.
You stand because Jesus is Lord.
You stand because the Spirit still speaks.

If you are trying to follow Christ in a world that mocks truth and dares you to speak—say something.

Say it when your voice shakes.
Say it when your job is on the line.
Say it when no one else is standing.

You are not alone.

You serve the Sovereigns.
You walk in the name of Christ.
The Spirit of God is not interested in safe.

You do not need to be loud.
You do not need to be clever.
You need to be faithful.

Faith is not proven in comfort.
It is proven in conflict.

So if they want the prayer, give them fire.
If they want the form, speak the Name.
If they want silence, stand anyway.

Because one day, when the Sovereigns speak again,
the crowd will not matter.
The room will not matter.
Only One voice will. And He already sees you.